KICK! HIT! GOAL!!!.

hm,
i've been thinking,
a job with 2k a mth,
a yr later, u get 24k.
minus ur expenditure, u get , erm.. 18k in ur savings?
not enuff , for a much bigger house ,
not enuff for a much homely home,
not enuff for a family i can call my own
not enuff for a better car to ram down hated beings.
not enuff for 5 computers and laptops at every room,
NOT ENUFF TO INTIMIDATE MY FAMILY

i need a better salary!
and
thus,
i will need a good paying job!
FUCK

I AM NOT GOING TO BE A PATHETIC INSURANCE AGENT WITH 2 LAPTOPS AND STILLL SO SLEFISH
I AM NOT GOING TO BE SOMEONE WHO LOCKS HIMSELF IN THE FKING ROOM.
I AM GRANT
for god's sake
where's my fireballs!

it seems that assholes have started firewalls to prevent me from doing anything, no gaming,
zz
i cant change the settings cos access is denied,
well,
it is juz burning my patience to press the RESTART button.

----
hm, something more to hurt me,
people on my list arent responding to my study system thingy.
not all,
there's something wrong in grantology method 6 under clause 12.
i cant get them to study with me.
aw.

I AM MY OWN FRIEND.
thoughts, filled my mind.
studies, worries my heart.
if i retain , i cant kik my family, my present home out of my mind. cos i need them for financial support.
where's my backbone,
where's is it.
i need them to fight all evils.
to fight within urself is not helping.
to worry without any determination to study is not gonna make my wishes come true.

I AM LOST
am i in a state of delusion?

There is that bird
inside of your wallet.
SHE painted it for you
so that you would remember to stay
FREE

My sense of balance is off, she said.
It's the barometer, he said.
Why is there all of this wind?
June is not June

i know why my life is collapsing, holy jesus.
=D
or is it juz an excuse?
an alternative to my life.

i was smoking down the ramp tonight.
i never imagined that the costs of smoking was high,
it is expensive,
and social costs are involved as well,
i threw my cigarettes down the drain,
feeling addicted, i got swept into a moment of frenzy ,
i felt nausey,
i needed more
i found myself peeing on myself,
my vision got blurry
I paid for my meal and left teck whye

as i dragged myself home, i found my fist on a YAlam's face,
WOO..
he ran into the darkness,
i cleaned my hands with the leaves which rustled as the yalam went back to the place they call home and what chinese will be disgusted if they found themselves in there.
i reached home , late,
stupid statements were exchanged,
i replied with "wadever", "um", "stupid" and a yawn
oops

i used my hammer on a bulb,
AW,
oopps once again,
i got to end this soon, i 've been at this eassay writing for 3.4hrs,
i found inspiration dispersin into thin air .
i found out the reason in an instant,
i was tired.
GOOD NIGHT

.][-Splattered my blood on
11:07 PM